the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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