your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
