By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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