Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
