I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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