a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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