I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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