next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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