I hate your face
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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