using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
