doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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