So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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