she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
