Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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