Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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