i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
