one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize