i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
