So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
