Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
