If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
