Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
