i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
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I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
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i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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