I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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