Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
