I want to stick my p in your. b.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Boobs speak an international language.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The Olympian is in my bed
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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