the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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