What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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