I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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