can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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