I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
