OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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