Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
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Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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