wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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