I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
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THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
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I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My bed smells like the plague
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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