She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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