ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
