do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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