No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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