dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
