My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
