Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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