its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
