um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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