what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
