Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
