im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
