i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize