Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize