you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize