the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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