you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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