I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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