So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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