I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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