I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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