So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
