Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
